So delicate, risky and creative

As I sit here in the car on this teasing-fall-like evening in August, it’s already dark at 8:30pm.  Stars are appearing a little earlier each night.  The cicadas chirp loud and muffle the sound of boys calling out instructions to their teammates under bright white lights that make the field look like day time.  I sit here in the shadow of the tree for a moment of just being waiting until soccer practice is over.
It has begun.
Even though school hasn’t started yet (just 5 days away), it might as well have. 

Already going to school to help with PTO, going to soccer practice, reviewing multiplication facts gearing up for math.  Looking at my planner and it already has little space to add much else.
What a difference from lounging on the back porch with family after filling our stomachs with food and our hearts with conversations that could linger, from relaxing at the neighborhood pool while hearing laughter and splashes…from looking and seeing a lot of white, empty space on my day planner.
But it’s filling back up full and I need balance.   I’ve seen how lack of balance can easily cause brokenness or damage to the heart (of self and others) and makes it hard to see God moments and joy gifts He so freely gives.
God, I want balance…I need balance.  I don’t want to get so caught up in whirlwinds of business to the point of dizziness and can’t focus.  Focus on what You desire of me.
Ester de Waal wrote,
“What I am looking for is some sort of balance in my life – a balance “so delicate, so risky, so creative…”
So delicate because it needs to be handled with care and attention.
So risky because it’s not “normal” or looked down upon in today’s world to balance stillness with to-do’s.
So creative because the Provider provides opportunities daily to balance to-do’s and time to hide away with Him… we just need to trust it is doable and diligently make the effort…and completely depend on Him. 
Today I opened the Word to Isaiah 30:15  “Your salvation requires you to turn back to me and stop your silly efforts to save yourselves.  Your strength will come from settling down in complete dependence on me…the very thing you’ve been unwilling to do.”  (The Message)
or  “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.” (NIV)
I think God wanted me to read that at the beginning of this new season.  To be mindful.  
Mind-full. 
For my mind to be full of His Presence all day long… and the days short that fly by too.  To be mind-full of knowing how to balance and make priorities.  To be mind-full of His promises.  To be mind-full of his extravagant grace and mercies every day especially the days I fall short. 
This I pray…
“You have taught us that in returning and rest we shall be saved, in quietness and confidence we shall be strengthened.  By Your Spirit lift us to Your Presence where we may be still and know that You.are.God.” 
(prayer from the Book of Common Prayer adapted in Living Prayer by Robert Benson) emphasis added

Joys found…
#830  cloudy morning for walk but when sat down in chair on porch and opened God’s Word, the sun broke through clouds and shined on my book and face.
#831  taking bag of cherry tomatoes to a friend at work
#832  the beautiful array of clouds on the morning walk
#833  gift curved – cookies on plate ready to go in oven

#834  gift straight – index card lines with Mamaw’s writing of the recipe for Snickerdoodle cookies

#835  gift turned – page to a new chapter
#836  gift of light – light shining on tomatoes in window

#837  kids no cavities at dentist!
#838  desire for balance