So this 31 days challenge. I’ve sat down to write for Day 2 last night and I was already at a writer’s block. It’s only day 2 and I’m second guessing myself already.
Yesterday afternoon after having been at school all day at the Book Fair, I plopped in the chair for the 10 minutes I had, and tried to think, “What little revelation did I gleam today?”
I had no idea.
I start to read other writers posts. So beautiful, so creative, so unique.
Boy, I wish I…
And then while I’m chopping broccoli for dinner, I have my little revelation – I’m not doing the right thing. I’m coveting and comparing. I’m not writing for my One Audience. I need to stop comparing my writing to others… I know I’m pretty hard on myself.
I’m trying to think too hard. I have high expectations of myself and yet I still know I can’t meet them.
I’m not just laying it all at the feet of the best Author.
Which I have to. I know if I don’t I might as well shut the lid to this laptop.
And that’s what I did last night. I just shut the lid ready to give up and take my name off the list.
Then, small me, this morning opened the Word to study, of all people, Ehud, a left-handed (back then was considered a loser) and very unexpected leader, in the book of Judges, third chapter. Tim Keller, who wrote this study I’m doing, put what I was trying to think to say last night into the words I needed to read this morning…
“It is natural to want the world’s respect and acclaim. But ultimately, it is a trap to hope that we, the gospel messengers, will be accepted and admired by the world. How will the messengers of the gospel ever be impressive and acclaimed by the world when it's very message is a suffering, defeated Messiah who chooses losers to make his point?
We must not hope to make ourselves something that the world finds polished, attractive and acceptable.
I’m now even smaller.
Wow…God often orchestrates me to read just the perfect words…like He did this morning of Day #2.
What a revelation… I still hold onto, even if it’s just with my little pinky finger, a selfish desire of acceptance and admiration. (I’m not proud to have to type, or confess, those words)
Oh Jesus…I’ll be a big loser and give You the glory…
….as I straighten out my pinky finger.
Still counting thankfulness…
#956 making apple crisp with family…fixing my crave
#957 apple peelers
#958 Granny apples
#959 raindrops on the spider web after the rain
#960 Family Night at Book Fair is over! (but it was fun for all)